That's cold

A tale of a pandemic, two girls, and a well-intentioned but un-welcomed bidet.
That's cold

We were talking to a guy about his life during the early days of the pandemic. Those were the days of the toilet paper shortage and hoarding.

Girl shocked

With two teenage daughters, he sought to avoid the problem by buying them a bidet. He changed the plumbing to supply the water, and a week later asked their thoughts. Both girls said it was too cold; the water feeding the toilet tank has a bit of shock value when it’s sprayed on the bum.

Rather than be discouraged, he doubled down and invested in a heater for the water. He’s a skilled dude, and was able to make space in the vanity, tie into the electrical, modify the plumbing again, and provide his girls warmed water.

When he checked with them again, he learned they’d just stuck with using toilet paper out of inertia … habit.

My own experience with a bidet was with a fancy Kohler model that was a separate fixture from the matching toilet bowl. Funny story. It was a new house build. The plumber had an apprentice who was a nice guy, but at 18 or 19 years old, still a bit wet behind the ears. As we unboxed and positioned the fixtures, he quietly asked his boss why my wife and I liked to … ummmmm … use the facilities at the same time. The boss was doubled over laughing too hard to explain, so I had to describe what a bidet was to a plumber’s helper.

Anyway, we had it plumbed to the hot and cold water lines from the start, and it worked as designed. Yet our experience was the same as for those two girls. It took too long for the water to get to the right temperature, and that meant either the shock of cold or the burn of hot or waiting butt naked while levitating over the cold porcelain until the water was temperate. Despite our good intentions, the very expensive bidet was more awkward than convenient and fell into disuse.

Apparently many homeowners feel the same way. If you’ve ever watched HGTV’s House Hunters, the first thing house shoppers do when they see a bidet in the house they’re touring is snicker and say, “Well that’s coming out.” Whatever their reasoning, bidets are a love-it-or-hate-it appliance. One thing is for certain – once you’ve installed it to your water pipes, you aren’t carrying it with you to the other bathrooms you use throughout the day. Any cleaning benefit you get is in that one bathroom only, but you still have the rest of the day to deal with.

The UnWipe wipes replacement will discretely go wherever you go. There are no controls to mess with, so you can immediately follow up the first wipe with the final wipe that’s stronger, more textured, and a little bit wet. The little bit of wetness that touches your bum is automatically at room temperature. Instead of cold water that makes you pucker, and the bidet's aerosol spray of water mixed with waste, you get clean water that's refreshing and cleansing. You can even say, “Ahhhhhhhh,” rather than “Eeeeeeeee.”

Photo by Dave Hoefler on Unsplash

Photo by Alexander Krivitskiy on Unsplash

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